Second in command does not necessarily mean second best! Sister Hubert is definitely top notch when it comes to keeping things going at the convent! In the penultimate piece of the TheatreBloom exclusive interview series (a part of Imaginative Interviews featuring characters from musicals and plays) with the Little Sisters of Riverdale, we sit down and talk shop with Sister Hubert.

Thank you for sitting down with us, Sister Hubert. What is your role here at Little Sisters of Riverdale?

Sister Hubert: I am mistress of novices. I train all of the newbies. And I love that job. I’m actually trying to make it up to number one, you know? Reverend Mother? Mother Superior? But in order to make it up from number two to be number one you have to put in your time, pay your penance, you know train the incoming. Tend to the flock so to speak so that they know you’re worthy of being in the number one spot.

And Reverend Mother is currently your number one. You two get along?

Sister Hubert: *long pause* Yes. Yes we do.

So tell us a little bit about this incident at the convent that sparked on this big musical theatre show that has brought you all here to this event.

Sister Hubert: The incident? Oh yes, the incident. Sometimes here in the convent you have to be sure, you never know which incident we might be talking about. But you mean the incident. So, Sister Julia made some stew and we lost 52 of our sisters. And when I say we lost I don’t mean we misplaced them. I mean they died. They’ve gone home to Jesus. They went to sleep in their soup.

 Now we’ve heard some rumors that you weren’t able to bury all of the nuns.

Sister Hubert: Well if you’ve heard it, then we can talk about it. We were able to bury all of our sisters except for four of them. The four are in the freezer. And the Sarah Lee ain’t tasted the same since.

Now I have heard, from speaking with some of the other sisters, that the reason those poor sisters couldn’t be buried was because there was some misappropriation of funding?

Sister Hubert: Um, yeah. You see, Reverend Mother— who is number one, remember I’m only number two— she went out and bought a plasma TV. And I know that we’re nuns. Everyone says that when they hear that we got a plasma TV. But Reverend Mother thought we should have a plasma TV, so now we have a plasma TV. And we have four dead nuns in the freezer. Now I would not have bought a plasma TV. I would have buried the four dead nuns who are now in the freezer with the Sarah Lee. And that Sarah Lee is tasting real funky! But? I’m not number one, I’m only number two so that wasn’t my call.

Now, you guys are putting on this show to raise money to help bury those sisters. What is your role with the show and what can viewers expect?

Sister Hubert: Well this is a talent show. We’ve picked only the best of the nuns that were left to showcase their talents. Slim pickings considering 48 of our sisters are in the ground and four are in the freezer, but we’ve got a few talented ones left. I’m one of them. I do several numbers, actually. I even do a number with Reverend Mother.

What do you do when you’re not doing the talent show?

Sister Hubert: I just focus on the novices. And you should know that I do it on my own. All on my own. Reverend Mother? She’s just a stepping stone.

Oh my! I notice your order still wears the habits.

Sister Hubert: Yes we do.

And you like that?

Sister Hubert: Yes we do. Well, yes I do. Don’t want to speak for everyone here, like some other people do. Reverend Mother is in charge, and you know how she feels about the traditional habit. So we wear our habits and we like it.

They told me that you nuns were assigned some musical theatre people to help you prepare for the talent show and you had a Miss Linda Whiting. What’s it been like working with her?

Sister Hubert: Oh Linda is a pro! She’s been doing this for many, many years and she taught me a lot about musical theatre that I didn’t know before. It’s very hard work! Now I’m a lot like Linda. She’s very ambitious and so am I. I’m trying to be number one! It’s been great working with Linda because she’s actually a professional singer. She sings R&B, she sings Jazz, and she sings Gospel. I think I got a good one.

If you guys raise enough money to bury the sisters and if there’s money left over, the little sisters will be donating to two additional charities, Bountiful Blessings and Men Against Breast Cancer. What do you think about that?

Sister Hubert: I think those are awesome choices, what better charities to give to? I’m excited about it!

Not that nuns have a favorite vow, but if you had a vow that speaks to you, what would it be?

Sister Hubert: A vow that speaks to me? The biggest ain’t the best! The vow of humility. Being humble. She who exults herself shall be humbled but she who humbles herself shall be exulted.

The biggest challenge you nuns will have will be getting people to come see the show. What would you like to tell people to get them to come see the show?

Sister Hubert: I would say come out to the show it’s hilarious! It’ll be well worth the ticket price. And so much more. And the proceeds are going to a worthy cause and then some!

Nunsense plays through April 19, 2015 at Wolf Pack Theatre Company playing at the St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church— 5820 Riverdale Road in Riverdale, MD. For tickets call (240) 271-5471 or purchase them online.

To read Part 1 of the Habit-forming Nunsense Interview series with Sister Julia, Child of God, click here.

To read Part 2 of the Habit-forming Nunsense Interview series with Sister Mary Amnesia, click here.

To read Part 3 of the Habit-forming Nunsense Interview series with Sister Mary Amnesia, click here.

To read Part 4 of the Habit-forming Nunsense Interview series with Sister Robert Anne, click here.